What I Learn from One Night Stand

One night stand. Oh this phenomenon when you really throw yourself out there, blindly, to fulfill whatever needs or desires you’re having at the moment and let this unseen power of the universe bringing you another human being who might or might not getting you off by the end of the night. This euphoria coming from the act of gamble whether you’re going to meet your future main squeeze or get murdered is both ecstatic and somewhat addictive.

In this modern dating era, the possibilities to meet someone to spend the night together with are almost endless. We’re talking about the matter of just few bars of message between swiping right on some dating app and some steamy pillow action with complete stranger. Some people brag about it, oh I did too when I first jumped into this phase, and even though it’s still fun otherwise, the bragging is kind of getting old. And here are some more other things I learned from one night stand…

- Having constant one night stand doesn’t make you a ‘bad person’. This label like “slutty” does not completely justify the reason why someone does one night stand. For me personally, respecting some boundaries, putting the safety matter above everything and making sure that there are no other uninvolved parties who possibly would get hurt from the act are some important things to highlight to differentiate between “uber fun” and “trashy”.

- Waking up in a different part of the city and in someone’s apartment that you don’t recognize with somebody whose name you don’t even remember is a fine line between creating a terrific story and questioning your decision-making abilities.

- Sometimes there is a funny moment in your night out together which ends up in you slurring your way through some deep conversation about philosophy and politics until you both just stop talking and realize…hey it’s now the time where we do the thing we came here to do. It’s a strange shift and a pretty creepy notion.

“Hey, what are you looking for?”

“Some fun. U interested? ;)”

“Totally, you look dang cute. Grab beers tonight?”

“Down. Again, just for fun between us ok?”

“Deal, nothing serious :)”

That ends up into you both not talking to each other anymore because replying another booty call messages from other people sparks this weird jealousness, but hey no complaints because, IT’S JUST FOR FUN BETWEEN YOU TWO.

- It becomes less of a big deal the more you have it which makes one night stand sex could be some mediocre stuffs, which leads to ‘sticking’ around a little too much and getting a little too comfortable with this one particular person because you start craving some familiarities while also still having the great sex and freedom to do whatever you want to do, which later could lead into this confusing situation when you hit them up at ‘booty call’ hours just to have nice conversations over take-outs and cuddles. And, don’t even get me started of this whole “catching feelings” situation.

- But it also means that, in come cases, you ‘get off’ kind of waaay easier… In one night stand, mostly we are the solely for the sex and we both know it. It’s not more or less than that so that’s what our focus is about. It’s not about achieving a deeper connection. And though I’m always passionate about this, it’s not about doing it out of love. It is just what it is. No facades.

- IT IS IMPORTANT to protect yourself before you wreck yourself. Safe sex is always a must. Most of the time, you’re not seeing this person regularly and you have no idea where this person you’re sleeping with has been. Unplanned children or contracting something you’d rather not are two of the biggest warnings here. The only way to look back and truly enjoy a single night together is if one of you wears a raincoat. Trust me, you don’t want to “catch a cold” while bumping uglies.

- Not all one night stands spell doom for a future relationship. Based on my personal experiences, one night stand doesn’t mean that you give up the goods on date number one and all the chances of serious relationship goes caput. Good relationship for me should not leave out the mutual attraction and physical chemistry aspects, and the fact that you’ve already established that you want to rip each other’s clothes off gets a crucial fact out there, fast.

Shenanigans! That basically sums up some things that I learned the most from having one night stands. It can last for less than 24 hours, or develop into something more down the road. The biggest issue is that both parties are at the roulette table agreeing to slide all your chips on black and let it ride, knowing full well that you’re giving up the pleasantries, and aware of all the qualities your new sex partner in crime possesses. But who knows, maybe you and your one night stand partner are meant for each other and are just ahead of the curve!